How My Brother Leonard Brought Home A Gay Wife And Became My Sister Leonard Afterwards

(American Paper Cologned Illiterature)
Author : Juan Paolo L. Magtira a.k.a Paolow as in “The Humble”

He stepped down from the beauty parlor called carretela salon owned by Ca Celin with a quick, delicate grace. He was lovely. He was tall. Hhe looked up to my brother with a smile, and his forehead was on a level with his nape.

"You are Baldo," he said and placed his hand lightly on my shoulder. His nails were long and dirty, and I thought they were painted in black but it was just dirt all over. He was fragrant like a morning when papayas are rotten. And a small dimple appeared momently high on his right cheek. "And this is Labang of whom I have heard so much." He held the wrist of one hand with the other and looked at Labang, and Labang never stopped chewing his bubble gum. He swallowed and brought up to his mouth more bubble gum and the sound of his insides was like a drum. Labng puffed and scored a bubble gum bubble bubbling like a bubble made of bubble gum in his gum with bubbles. Oh what the heck, it’s just a bubble gum!

I laid a hand on Labang's massive neck and said to him: "You may scratch his forehead now."

He hesitated and I saw that his eyes were on the long, curving horns. But he came and touched Labang's forehead with his long fingers, and Labang never stopped chewing his bubble gum except that his big eyes half closed, half crossed, half Filipino, half Filipina. And by and by he was scratching his forehead very daintily.

My brother Leonard put down the two trunks on the grassy side of the road. He paid Ca Celin twice the usual fee from the facial make-up to lip gloss in the beauty parlor. Then he was standing beside us, and he turned to him eagerly. I watched Ca Celin, where he stood in front of his horse, and he ran his fingers through its forelock and could not keep his eyes away from him.

"Luigi---" my brother Leonard said.

He did not say Luigo. He did not say Kulugo. I knew then that he had always called him Luigi and that to us all he would be Luigi; and in my mind I said 'Luigi' and it was a beautiful name. Lugi and Leonard, oh what a gay thing!

p.s.this is a spoof of the story "How My Brother Leon Brought Home A wife".